Finding a new identity

So, he is in the thick of rehab and right smack in the middle of a losing season. As a player you are questioning everything, “What if I hadn’t gone to practice that day?” Why did this have to happen?” “My role has changed, I used to be a team leader now I’m in treatment while the team is practicing, or meeting, or bonding. Who am I?”. Well mom, your role has changed as well. What do I do when I’m not his biggest cheerleader? How do I support him from miles away? What if he gets sad? What if he wants to quit? Who am I when I’m not at games? WHO AM I aside from JESHAUNS mom????

Ah yes, your whole identity has been wrapped up in football and being a football mom and watching football, and keeping track of records and stats and coaching changes and personnel changes (phew). Well, now what? Well you still get to do all of that, now it’s a little different. In addition, you have much more time for other things, now that you don’t have the guilt of missing a game. Saturdays are now getting to chat about the game with your son in real time and ask questions and better understand the play calling (we all question the play calling from our couch, am I right??) But even better yet, you get to explore your own interests. As for me, I have been traveling. I went to FRANCE! By MYSELF! Honestly the whole time I was just wishing my son was with me. I wanted so badly for him to experience the beauty of that place. But it was my time. He will have his chance. This is about you, mom. All. About. You. I had to constantly combat this misplaced guilt I kept running in my head. I couldn’t figure out why or where it was coming from. But it’s ingrained as a mom. The mantra of “my kid comes first” does not go well with doing something solely for your own enjoyment with no regard for anyone else. So, I had to constantly checkin with myself and remind myself I had earned this. This is what we worked for. Not only him going away to school to play football but YOU, being able to live your dreams as well. YOU DESERVE IT!! I was still a spaz when my hostel couldn’t get the game on (picture the American girl throwing a fit for American football).

With that being said, don’t be afraid to reinvent yourself as many times as it takes to be who you want to be. You can still support your son while living your best life. In fact, it makes him happy and down right proud to see you living the life of your dreams. He will have highs and lows and you will be there to support him, and you will give the best advice and most importantly he will get through this. He will be so much stronger, mature, resilient and all the characteristics you could never teach but had to be learned through experience. As much as you want to save them, you must let them grow through it. Soon he will be running routes again, catching passes and back to normal and this whole injury will be but a small, but life changing “blip” on the radar of his career. But remember mom, you cannot pour from an empty cup. So, get out there and fill your cup by living and doing what makes your soul happy. I promise your son wouldn’t want it any other way. 

Go Terps!

Published by

Nicole

Single mom of one awesome son. Just figuring things out as I go along and trying to help as many moms as I can along the way.